My Darling Motorola / by Susie Lubell

We went to our friend's son's third birthday party on Saturday and it was really lovely. Just a bunch of friends and their kids running around eating cake and chatting. At one point I was sitting on the sofa with my friend and another girlfriend of ours who also has a three year old and is pregnant with number two. As we were chatting their two sons started fighting about who got to play with Thomas, or was it Percy? One of those stupid trains. The boys were in tears and the friend who's pregnant told me, you see? I told her not to start up with those trains because they just become obsessed! It consumes their every thought. Trains and more trains! And Thomas and Percy and Clarabelle and this one and that one! Uch! Shut-up already with the trains! Then the mother of the birthday boy said, I know, but he loves them. I just bought him one video and now he lives and breathes these ridiculous trains!

Now thank god, Thomas is one thing that my kid is NOT obsessed with so I don't have to suffer through those inane storybooks and videos. I mean who writes this stuff? Winnie the Pooh kicks Thomas' ass any day of the week as far as I'm concerned. Meanwhile, as I'm thinking this to myself I hear my son, who's sitting next to us on the couch, singing "Motorola" over and over to the tune of "My Darling Clementine."

Try it with me:
Motorola Motorola
Motorola Motorola
Motorola Motorola
Motorola Motorola

Ladies, at least your kids are obsessed with something that befits a three year old. I mean, kids grow out of Thomas with time while I have at least a decade of listening to the Motorola song before my kid may actually have his own phone. Thomas isn't looking half bad after all.