The letter / by Susie Lubell

So he's all signed up for the Young Fives program at the JCC. We even got funding which to be honest I find completely ridiculous. Yes, my son has a scholarship to go to preschool. And the preschool families all get a year of JCC membership which is fabu because it's brand new and will have a rad kiddie pool and all kinds of classes and spaces and places and things and we can't wait. So much so that now we're kicking ourselves for not signing up our daughter so that they could be together for one more year. And that is why I spent another $100 to send in her application (it was less expensive for me to apply to business school but never mind) and I will apply for financial aid again even though they've already given out all the money and there isn't even space in the two year old class for her anyway. Whatever. Details. It will all work out. And if she ends up going to the family day care around the corner, probably all the better since it's cheap and amazing and we love it.

So all is settled (sort of) and then we get the letter on Saturday that they opened up a third kindergarten class at the magnet (public school) program that we were wait-listed for and we're in. WE'RE IN! And I'm back at the beginning where I don't know what to do and everyone has an opinion but no one really knows this kid like we do except he's really two kids; he's the kid at school and he's the kid at home. And the kid at home still falls apart completely when he doesn't have an apple every single night for snack. (this sounds crazy but some nights I just really don't want to add cutting an apple to the six hundred step good-night ritual even though I usually cave and do it anyway because it's an apple after all. Nature's tooth brush. Don't worry - I still brush his teeth).

And now I've come to understand that parents who live in other states, most of which have a September 1 cut-off, often hold their kids back too except these kids are being held back with May, June and July birthdays...so that means my kid would be going to college at 17 with kids who are already 19 and change.

But it's a lottery, this program. So if we don't grab it, we may not get in next year. Friends have told me if it really doesn't work out he can just repeat kindergarten. But don't kids remember that their whole lives and feel bad about themselves? That's probably just me projecting. Someone just make this decision for me.

Remind me to have my next baby in March.