Separation Anxiety / by Susie Lubell


It's tax season. The time of year when the psycho Virgo in me goes into overdrive. How could such a darling little girl turn into the nutcase described in this magnet?  I start making spreadsheets and filing all kinds of little paper things into accordion style filers. I make piles. I label. And, feeling empowered, I log on to Intuit. I feel there's nothing sexier than a woman who does her own taxes which I always do except for one year when my bother's tax preparer did them because we had w-2s from three states, a new house, a small business and a new, small baby. But the next year I realized that I could probably do them better myself because the small business (remember, the one I started even before Mishmish Studio that was a miserable failure because I spent so much time focused on trying to promote the work that I never actually created anything?) was getting smaller by the minute. And the baby and the house were under control too.

But now. Well now the business is what I do. And it's kind of getting bigger by the minute. Or at least in my fantasy world where I also have magical powers and great hair. And even though some days it still just feels like a hobby, especially days when I neither paint, nor promote nor sell a darn thing (those days suck), I still treat what I do like a business. Except that I don't. I don't have a separate bank account or a separate credit card.


I don't even know why. I have the credit card application sitting on my desk for like three weeks now. And I just have to go down to the bank and set up the account. Truth is I did have a separate account for that old business but there was so little money in there every month I was paying more in fees than I was depositing. I think I have anxiety that this will again be the case. Insecurity really blows.

Which brings up another point. When I was in my coaching workshop and had to set goals and be held accountable every month, I GOT SHIT DONE. Now, I get measurably less shit done. So I'm going to try a little experiment. I'm going to put a few important "to dos" on this blog every Monday and see if I can't get them done by week's end. And then if I don't, I'll have to answer to you guys. So try to act a little more menacing if that's possible. A little more threatening. Because right now you're all very sweet and understanding and that is just not going to cut it.

So for this week:
1. Send in my credit card application
2. Open a business bank account